Mildly Experimental Poetry Corner!

(I’m sure hundreds of people have done this before, but it’s a way to fill the sleepless nights while your wife’s away and your firstborn son has decided that the only way he’s going to sleep is to lie diagonally in the marital bed and kick out all interlopers.)

The Twitter account @pentametron scours the internet to find tweets which are, usually inadvertently, written in iambic pentameter. This provides a large corpus of material which you (for ‘you’, read ‘I’) can rework into larger forms. And so, a sequence of four pentametron sonnets.

 

I.

New day tomorrow. Mission still the same.
(Why does cilantro ruin everything?)
You really wanna play the petty game?
I really wanna watch The Lion King…

I got an egg and didn’t even know.
I asked the devil for a second dance:
she was a vision of perfection, yo.
Not everyone deserves a second chance.

I love the challenge of a broken heart:
there’s nothing good about a Sunday night.
So who determines when the battles start?
Eh wait, the wedding starts already, right?

I have a fun idea for the day.
Okay okay okay okay OKAY.

 

II.

Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!
White people weddings aren’t even fun:
I’ll be consuming alcohol today,
fuck everything and everybody, son.

Impending birthday looming overhead.
I really wanna try a smoky wing!
My diet is salami, cheese, and bread:
save me a sweet empowered chicken thing.

I want to be in love without the pain:
pinning/being pinned against a wall.
I snorted baking soda as cocaine.
My people have amazing cheekbones y’all.

And burning is the only proper way…
I hope tomorrow is a better day.

 

III.

Soo over everyone and everything,
I haven’t even started packing yet.
I’ve never really seen The Lion King.
Why does the Devil run the internet?

Faith changes hope into reality:
I would respect the truth before a lie.
I’m praying to become a better me:
don’t underestimate a Gemini.

Another day, another lonely night.
I am the captain of the submarine:
I’ve never even had an appetite.
I am already planning Halloween.

Imagine me and you and you and me:
perceptions of a false reality.

 

IV.

Wealth may contribute to a calmer mind.
The new investments will revamp the squad.
Thus bad begins, and worse remains behind:
I serve a living God, a loving God.

Deep conversations go into the void.
Love Island is depressing me tonight—
annoyed, annoyed, annoyed, annoyed, annoyed—
can’t even do the fucking basics right.

Death that in rougher Figure I despise
okay okay okay okay OKAY
revise revise revise revise revise…
I’m gonna masturbate the pain away.

In other news the laughter never stops—
Freeze, motherfucker! We’re the wizard cops!